[[Image:Chinese-Restaurant.jpg|thumb|]]
In [[amerikkka|North America]], a '''Chinese restaurant''' is a place which serves food which is [[not really|purportedly]] similar to fare served in [[China]]. Often these places are established by people of Chinese ancestry, who may only speak English as a second language. This frequently results in poorly-written menus with humorous, bewildering, or even disturbing text.

Various claims made by Chinese restaurants in their menus and [[wikipedia:Yellow Pages|Yellow Pages]] advertising:
* Best Chinese Food In The Town!
* '''!!! SUPER SPECIAL !!!''' - Shrimp Fried Rice And Egg Roll - Only $3.50
* '''We Delivery''' Min $10
* Open 7 days a Week Take Out and Dine In
* Fast Deliver And Fair Prices Guarantee!!!
An astute reader will note the common trend of exclamation points. This is a simple yet effective way to identify a good Chinese restaurant in an unfamiliar town: gather as many take-out menus as possible, and order from the restaurant with the most exclamation points.
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== Menus ==

[[Image:Fuck The Ginger Water.jpg|thumb|Fuck the ginger water, I'd rather have a Pesi.]]

Chinese food is rarely easy to describe to those not yet familiar with it, and the vague [[wikipedia:Engrish|Engrish]] descriptions aren't much help. The '''Happy Family''' is a fairly common Chinese dish, which few have been bold enough to try based on the name alone. The description doesn't offer much encouragement either: ''Shrimp, scallop, beef, chicken, mixed vegetable in Chef's special sauce.'' Additionally, typos such as "Human Shrimp" and "Kung Poo" are common.

Some other items include:
; Sizzling Scallop and Shrimp: Fresh scallops and jumbo shrimp with mixed vegetables in white wine sauce. Served in a hot sizzling plate.
; Mongolian Beef: Beef, prepared in Mongolian Style.
; Chow Mein (White Rice or Fried Rice): Vegetable, Pork, Chicken, Beef, Shrimp, House Special Shrimp Chicken Pork''
; Moo Shu Pork: With 4 Pancakes.
; Seafood Deluxe in Bird Newt

== Chinese restaurants in popular culture ==
The opening verse of Warren Zevon's ''Werewolves of London'' mentions a Chinese restaurant. This is the earliest known example of a Chinese restaurant in music.

: <em>I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
: Walkin' through the streets of Soho in the rain
: He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook's
: Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein</em>


== Trivia ==
{{trivia}}
* Most Chinese restaurants are within walking distance of either a [[wikipedia:Puppies|pet store]] or a [[wikipedia:Sick Puppies|veterinary clinic]]. (In the same vein, most Kentucky Fried Chicken franchises are near either an auto parts store or oil change place. Think about it.)
* Contrary to popular belief, they do not eat [[cat|cats]], and suggesting that they do is ''enormously'' insensitive to their culture. However, rat and [[dog]] are acceptable types of meat.
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[[category:foods]]
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